Cutting it Off

 

    For father's day this year, I wanted to do something special for my dad. It had been a whirlwind of a year for all of us, and mom and dad were planning on coming for a visit—we wanted to make my dad's day special. So, along with my siblings, we put together a barbeque pow-wow into the plans, inviting all the dad's in our family to make a celebration that our family hadn't had in a while. I was in charge of the main dish, and knowing my dad as well as most other dad's I knew the smartest dish to put on the menu was red meat. So I went to the store and purchased to nice, big pieces of tri-tip roast—I knew my dad would just love it! I took my loot home, and began the preparations for marinating the meat. Only to find out after removing the meat from the packaging that on the bottom side was a ¼ inch slab of fat that covered the entire thing. My joys were deflated a little as I thought about how these perfect pieces of meat were suddenly tainted. Sure, some fat in the meat is good, it adds flavor, but a ¼" slab of fat isn't very appetizing to your meat—not to mention, once on the barbeque, fat generally catches fire. I was suddenly faced with the decision to either take the time to carefully and slowly cut the fat layer off an inch at a time—or leaving it and hoping for the best. So often in life I take the easy road, my road, ignoring the right thing to do—the thing that God wants me to do, just to save a little time and labor.

    In the old testament of the bible, God asked Abraham to take the time to trim something off out of obedience once. Only his request from God was a lot more painful than my cooking dilemma. In Genesis 17, Abraham was asked my God, at the ripe age of 99 years old to circumcise himself (Genesis 17:9-11). Now, I am not a man, nor do I have boys. But I do have a father, and brothers and I can still relate enough to the task God called Abraham to, and wince and cringe at the thought of it. Circumcision is a fairly common thing these days, but it is usually done shortly after birth to prevent any traumatizing after-effects. Should a male need or want to be circumcised after the age of 15 months, they are put into a nice nap for the simple procedure. So to think about Abraham doing this, un-anesthetized, at his age is just plain agonizing. But God asked him to do it, and Abraham listened with hardly a question asked.

    As I think back on my life and my relationship with God, I can recall several times where God asked me to cut something from my life. And more often than not, I told God no, because it would've been just too painful and unbearable. I chose to go my own way and walk my own path rather than face the pain that God asked me to feel—not remember who would hold me. But I would also always wind up lost, and confused, calling out "Lord please help save me!" Of course God did, and He always will as Deuteronomy 31:6 says, "for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." In the path of life, I have learned that God has one paved out just for you, but you must not only choose to take it, but also open your ears and listen to your tour guide. When God asks you to cut something from your life, he as a reason for it. And it may hurt, just like Abraham's was so very painful—but God has a purpose and a plan, he will comfort us in our pain and use it to enrich our lives. As we know from reading the rest of the old testament, God blessed Abraham and made him a father of many nations as well as giving him a son, finally, at the age of 100.

Lord God, I ask now that you help me to have the faith that you instilled in Abraham, and help me to cut the things from my life that you ask me to in order to thrive, even if it hurts Lord. For I know that you are my great healer, and in you I find comfort. –Amen

    I've since learned that listening to God, and to what I know is right, always ends in a good result. As it did with my dad's tri-tip father's day barbeque. I took the time to cut off the fat, and let it marinade for three days. The meat was perfectly tender and delicious, it took a white to accomplish the task, but it was well worth it in the end.

 

 

Reference Verses:

Deuteronomy 31:6

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Genesis 17:9-11

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

 ⁹ God said further to Abraham, "Now as for you, you shall keep My covenant, you and your ^[a]descendants after you throughout their generations. ¹⁰ This is My covenant, which you shall keep, between Me and you and your ^[b]descendants after you: every male among you shall be circumcised. ¹¹ And you shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskin, and it shall be the sign of the covenant between Me and you.

bleh

More Than Food

"If you're too busy to give your neighbor a helping hand, then you're just too darned busy." ~Marie T. Freeman

Growing up in the metropolitan area I had, it's hard to miss sometimes the amount of homeless people scattered around the area, holding up signs, walking the parking lots looking for anyone with a few pennies of change, asking if you could offer any kind of help. For most people seeing those people makes them feel uncomfortable. It's so easy to pass judgment on them, "oh look at them, they're just too lazy to go find a job." "I bet they're just after money to get their next fix." Not a lot of them will stop to help, or even offer a smile to lighten their day.

I will admit that these people make me uncomfortable, I usually duck my head and avoid eye contact and pretend I didn't hear their plea for help. Just recently I walked out of a grocery store, it was a cold rainy day and I just wanted to get home to my warm dry home with cupboards stocked full of food and a heater ready to greet me with warmth. On the way out I heard a voice "Can you help us out with some food?" I looked up to see a young man making eye contact with me, a young woman by his side huddling underneath her lightweight sweater. I gave him an uncomfortable smile but kept walking.

I felt uncomfortable, as most people do. Some even going to the extent of approaching management to have these people removed from the premise. Who are these people, I don't know them...why would I give them my money? How do I know what they will do with it? It's my money that I worked hard for...

I got in my car and I could still see their hungry faces looking at me, pleading for something to eat. I suddenly felt convicted with guilt, I heard the words of Christ speaking to me from Acts 20:35 In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

I took my seat belt off and took a deep breath, and then got out of the car and walked back to the entrance of the store. Unfortunately they were gone, and though I went back I couldn't help but think about the fact that I'd missed my opportunity, how I let my own discomfort get in the way of doing what Christ calls all of us to do, in that we must pick our crosses up daily and follow after him. As you read through the bible and new testament, you can see that he never hesitated, he fed the needy, he mingled with leapers, and he let harlot's wash his feet with their tears.

I can't help but wonder as well, especially after the time that passed between when I passed them by and went back was so short. I feel that God puts situations like this in front of us to test us, to see how we're going to react. Just like the song Tommy Shane Stenier sings,

What if he's an angel sent here from heaven
And he's making certain that you're doing your best
To take the time to help one another
Brother are you going to pass that test
You can go on with your day to day
Trying to forget what you saw in his face
Knowing deep down it could have been his saving grace
What if he's an angel



I'm not saying that everyone who's on the street corners begging for good, clothing, work are angels...but I do believe that they are amongst us. And I do believe that comfort or no comfort, getting a gallon of milk, a package of microwave burritos, a sack of dollar hamburgers from mcdonalds, may make a world of difference to that person and what better opportunity would we have to share the love of Christ in a moment like that?

May we humble ourselves just a little and not see what they are, that they are less than us or that we are above helping them...for as John 3:16 says, God so loved the WHOLE world....not just the rich, not just those with houses and who can provide their own food...no, God loves ALL of us, rich and poor.

We can feed the hungry with so much more than food beloved....we can feed them with God's love too.

Salvation Army Volunteer Match

Red Cross Volunteers

Love Modesto

Modesto Gospel Mission

Good to be Home

"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. " ~Maya Angelou

So, I made it safe and sound. I know it's been a while since I posted but its due to me getting busy and throwing myself out there to the job sharks. I'm happy to say that after almost a month of hardcore job searching I have finally found employment! I am stoked, and so RELIEVED to have finally found a job, its definitely a good start and I'm glad its one less thing for me to worry about.

Changing plans to move (back) to Modesto was a bit of a turmoil for me, I really hadn't like Modesto or the area, not back then, not ever. I was reluctant but "taking one for the team" so to speak. Doing so would be the best thing for my girls and let me tell you its' been pure joy to be close to them and see them almost every day. But I have to admit now, that being in Modesto isn't as bad as I thought.

Other than the traffic and the high gas prices ($3.66 a gallon, yikes!) I am really enjoying my time, and love being back in "civilization". Maybe its the fact that I don't have to drive 45 minutes just to go to the grocery store, or 3 hours to all my favorite department stores, I have options now and I don't HAVE to shop ebay for the best deals on decent clothing. Oh and did I mention that we have REAL Starbucks here?? Not those silly little mini-Starbucks that are stuffed inside Safeway grocery stores. I love that I can go in and sit down and listen to groovy soothing jazz music instead of a myriad of angry shoppers pushing grocery carts.

Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of very enjoyable perks to living life simply and I grew to appreciate a lot. But I think Dorothy had the right kind of mind set... "There is no place like home."

So I think I'm going to stay put for a little while...or a long while. Modesto is my home, and home is where I want to be.

Road Trip!

"I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move." ~Robert Louis Stevenson


Yes! I am a mere days away from my road trip move to California from Arizona/New Mexico. I am excited but sad. Excited to be back to the place I was brought up in, my children and friends I grew up with. Sad, because I am leaving behind a lot of really great people and friends that I have made in the last nearly two years of living in New Mexico.

Am I ready? Emotionally....yes. But at the same time, there is so much unprepared. However, time isn't on my side and like it or not, I must go.

I am happy that I will have my little brother with me. He's been staying with family out here and I'll be taking him back home. So at least I'll have some company...lets hope I don't end up leaving him on the side of the road somewhere ey?

Its a BIG, LONG trip! Just thinking about all the drive time and "sit" time it makes my back ache and cringe! 832 miles to be exact!



That's 12 hours and 35 minutes of drive time. Not including stopping for bathrooms, food and of course fuel. I am not looking forward to that part of the trip either! According to Mapquest's calculations, giving my car a safe estimate of 32 miles per gallon. It estimated me to spend around $83 in fuel...considering gas prices are around $3/gallon I am not surprised!

I don't even have my pay check yet and it's already spent! All complaining aside though...I will be so thrilled to be back in Modesto!



I am hoping and praying that I land a good job opportunity soon! I got a call today to come in for an interview, I had to tell them that unfortunately I won't be available until next week. I hate hearing that change in tone in their voice...I hope that they come to find out what my friends are telling me; that I am worth waiting for.

My trip starts at 0500 hours on Saturday, January 29th! Any prayers for safe travels and a smooth trip are much welcomed! I'll do my best to keep all my FB buddies updated with the status of my trip via my BlackBerry (aka my new best friend).



Until next time...

A New Change

"All healing is first a healing of the heart." ~Carl Townsend

For anyone that has been following my blog posts at all I think its obvious that I've changed the title, look and as you'll find out the direction I am going with this. After some thought I really don't want this blog or the rest of my life to revolve around the fact that I am divorced. I want this to be positive, uplifting and healing.

I am doing a little soul searching, and looking to my Lord and Savior for the path that he wants me on for the rest of my life. In my experience, I have always had a more content path when I am following Him. Is it easy? Not on your life. Is there peace? Absolutely.

"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me." -John 14:1



So, I am a little dented and scratched. But as this song (one of my new favorites) says...on his shoulders I can see. I am excited to find out what God has for me, I am going to be patient though, I am a servant of His will.

Along with spiritual and emotional healing...I also need healing of my body. I have a hard time tolerating gluten and lactose. Lately with all the stress that I have been under I feel that my body is attacking itself. I need to force myself into a pattern of self-discipline and change my eating habits for good. Once I do that I will hopefully be suffer free. But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...

"Do not love sleep, or you will become poor; Open your eyes, and you will be satisfied with food." ~Proverbs 20:13



Another thing that I need to do...lose about 50lbs of body weight. My BMI is seriously overweight, some of them even putting me on borderline obese status. When people look at me they're shocked, "you don't look overweight at all." they tell me. Well...I am. Though I need to be happy with the body that God has given me. And don't get me wrong..I am. But this is also HIS body, its HIS temple, and I am not taking care of it.

I feel sick, and heavy and I need to get healthy and energetic. That is the person that I am inside, in my heart I am very outgoing, but my body is a restriction because I am not physically who I need to be. It's always been difficult to stay in an exercise routine and actively work out. When things get boring I lose interest or I stop for one day and I lose the habit. But this time, I know I can do it..

"But Jesus looked at them and said to them; 'With men, this is impossible, but with God all things are possible'." ~Matthew 19:26

So yes.. I can do this, I will do this, I am doing this....because with GOD all things are possible and CHRIST gives me strength.

Until next time...


For more information on Gluten and Lactose Intolerance please visit these websites:

1. Celiac disease is an autoimmune digestive disease that damages the villi of the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. One in 133 Americans have celiac disease.

2. Lactose intolerance is the inability to digest a sugar called lactose that is found in milk and dairy products.

Party Time?

"Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left." ~Jean Kerr



Well, it looks like I am a single woman again. We signed our papers last night, I took it a lot harder than I thought I would. Even though certain things happen and I am still hurt and bitter about a lot of it; just the realization that my marriage, that the last two years of my life were burning away with a scribble of ink was a hard pill to swallow.

But alas, I suppose this means its time to move on. I always thought that moving on from something, meant bigger and better things. And though that is my hope, it doesn't feel as good as I thought it should. With this journey into another divorce I've noticed that there are a lot of ways to celebrate such a life change- as if it should be a happy occasion. To the extent of celebrating its counterpart: a wedding.

Here we have a divorce cake:


A Just Divorced banner hanging on the back of a car:


The BLACK veil of divorce:


A Divorce Party planner:


And here you can even get formal invitations to "celebrate your freedom":


Am I the only one that sees the resemblance here? Are we now living in an age where divorce is as celebrated as the marriage that started it?? Does that mean that I am supposed to be celebrating and feeling good about this.

My heart is broken. Is that what I am celebrating??

Ok, ok I know I am sounding uptight about it. But really...I am just too busy picking up the pieces right now to throw a party.

Will I be ok? Yes. Will I be chillaxing with family and friends on my own time and whim? Absolutely. Will I go reserve a room in vegas, order a cake and celebrate til the wee hours in the morning that I have a failed marriage under my belt? I'm gonna say no.

Until next time....